Diversity, Heritage Day, and the two sides of the same coin.
Diversity is a word that all South Africans know well. It is a proudly South African fact that we can celebrate many different heritages, as we are known as the “rainbow nation”. Archbishop Desmond Tutu coined this term to accurately describe all the diverse cultures, languages, customs, traditions and so on that constitute South Africa. And Heritage Day, happening on 24 September each year, is a celebration of all this variety.
This day is a national holiday. It’s a day to celebrate your culture and its beliefs and traditions. I imagine that this celebration takes different forms in different parts of south Africa as we are a rainbow nation after all. But for me that celebration translates to having a braai with heaps of red meat, and chicken as the vegetable (according to hubby). And don’t forget the “braaibroodjies” which is basically a tomato, onion and cheese sandwich toasted on an open flame.
On this day, or maybe every day, South Africans abroad long for proudly South African delights like biltong, rooibos, koeksisters, rusks, Amasi, Pinotage, and piquant peppers (a list from Lisa Witepski’s blog Proudly South African Iconic Brands and Products). Or they dream about our proudly South African brands like Nando’s, All Gold tomato sauce, Mrs. Ball’s Chutney or Sally Williams nougat. If you’re abroad and your mouth is watering, my apologies!
I’ll try to get back to the point I am trying to make, before slightly losing track reminiscing about comfort foods. The point being that the word diversity can conjure positive and negative images. Positive in the sense of diverse cultures can unite like in South Africa’s rainbow nation and instill comfort and nation pride. But it is negative when diversity is seen as different or wrong. Then diversity leads to conflict.
Here's a light-hearted example. Think of Rugby World Cup taking place right now. Different countries or cultures going after the same cup in a very competitive fashion and sometimes resulting in physical conflict, on and off the field.
The truth is that we do not actually like diversity. And diversity do not only exist in groups, but also, or MUCH MORE so, in individuals.
In our book Don’t Change Them; Grow Them, we talk about why people are different and come to four conclusions:
- People are different because they are supposed to be.
We were created uniquely.
“It is as unlikely for two people to have the exact same DNA as it is to flip a regular coin and make it land on heads 6.4 million times in a row.
God never batch-bakes people, their families, their callings, or their salvation stories either. He makes each one from scratch.”
- Difference is mighty uncomfortable.
We act from who we are, we are selfish that way. So, when people do not behave like we want them to, or how we believe they should, it is most of the time not because they are disobedient, out to get us or just don’t like us. It is usually because of who they are. And that just doesn’t sit well with us.
“Until we believe that people are different for a purpose, we feel that they are different on purpose”.
- People tend to want others to be like them.
When others think like you, act like you, talk like you, it is very reassuring and comfortable (although I do hope from my heart that someone reading this will think that it is much too boring…) and it does not lead to any difficult conversations, disputes, or conflicts.
- The attempt to change others is a futile exercise.
If you have ever tried to change someone, you would know this. Even just trying to change yourself is a battle on its own.
You can read more interesting examples on this in chapter 2 (In Fierce Defense of Difference) of our book Don’t Change Them; Grow Them. And if you do, you will come across the idea of becoming a beauty hunter like Fibonacci…
Back to heritage, cultures and diversity…Even though belonging to a culture can bring us comfort, it can also rob us of our individuality. There are many rules in cultures, mostly unwritten. Like “I must love to braai” when you are South African. Or like in some African and Eastern cultures where being very outgoing, extroverted, and opinionated are frowned upon, especially if you are a woman.
What if you are different? If you do not conform? Well, if you don’t like a braai, I don’t think you’ll get in too much trouble for that one…The worst may be that will not get anything to eat.
But on the more serious note of not being taken seriously…
Can I ask, are you flourishing? Are the people around you flourishing? Are you allowed to be who you were created to be? Or do you feel like a bonsai – clipped, copied and girdled to someone else’s idea of perfection. Maybe you are the one bonsaiing others, trying to help them, make them better, but alienating them in the process.
It is never too late to flourish. You can get to know yourself. And you can get to know others and make space for them. You can stop this process of bonsaiing and being bonsaied and return to your authentic beauty – your identity and purpose in God. This will lead to more fulfilling relationships because you will stop expecting others to be who they are not, granting them the freedom of being themselves. And if you do that, you also enable them to stop their process of bonsaiing.
That is when diversity becomes beautiful. When everyone is doing what they do best. Not copying, or comparing, but working with what you have been given towards the good of others. Dive in and start exploring the inborn gifts you were born with and use them to be a gift to others. Complete your Tall Trees leadership profile, it’s a good place to start your self-awareness.
So, in the spirit of Heritage Day, looking forward to a braai with koeksisters or milktart as dessert, drinking crème soda, and maybe some Pinotage, I quote two famous South Africans:
“Our daily deeds as ordinary South Africans must produce an actual South African reality that will reinforce humanity’s belief in justice, strengthen its confidence in the nobility of the human soul, and sustain all our hopes for a glorious life for all.”
~ Nelson Mandela
“Your ordinary acts of love and hope point to the extraordinary promise that every human life is of inestimable value.”
~ Desmond Tutu
Our Tall Trees team wishes you a happy Heritage Day!
All the best,
Annatjie van Zyl
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